LILLIAN CHARLES

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How Are You Showing Up {In Your Clothes?}

Recently I joined a coaching group on facebook called Audience Builders. Reading through the comments and prompts, I saw that a woman named Katie Dixon asked the group how many of us had lots of cheerleaders in our lives... but fewer "pushers." She described "Pushers" as the people who shoot us straight, who provide honest feedback, who ask questions we need to find answers to on our own. I've decided to rename this category of people ("pushers"), truth speakers. 

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If you can't think of a truth speaker in your life right now, table that concern and let me be that for you for the remainder of this post. I want to ask you a question that has to do with your clothes... but is actually totally deeper than that (because, duh: Style Therapy):

Is what you're putting on your
body for clothing indicative of
how you're showing up in life? 

In other words/millienial terms:

when you get dressed and head out the door,
does it look like you give a shit or not?

Tonight I had the honor and pleasure of speaking truth to a client quite plainly when I told her: You look like you don't give a shit (in your clothes.) Ya'll. This matters. How you show up matters. How you show up magnetizes what shows up for you. The changes to make can be subtle: adding accessories and a nicer flat for work. Or the changes can be as grande as burning (figuratively speaking) your worn out wardrobe to make space for what is worthy of your greatness. 

I hope to post more examples as I remember to take before/after photos but take a look, here:

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Why would I leave the house looking like this (but with shoes on)? I wouldn't. Why? Because it looks like I don't give a shit. It looks like I am a level below indifferent to the outcome of my interactions with others. And yet... people walk out looking like this (but with shoes... hopefully), often.

Here's here I actually walked out of the house:

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Hoops Earrings. Layered necklaces. Exposed wrists with accessories. Elevated shoe with ankle strap so that the denim doesn't look too short. TIED SHIRT to accentuate my shape.

Who would you rather work with/hire/date/befriend?

The differences in the photos above are minor but the outcome is massive. Photo #2 is confident, informed and ready for action. I understand that some people really care how they look but they just. don't. know. how. to pull it all together. They don't know that the shirt can be tied to look sexy and fabulous. They don't know that heels and a plaid shirt WORKS. So if you feel like the way you are showing up isn't worthy of how amazing you are, DO SOMETHING about it.

Another example...

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Fitted black ribbed tank + frayed/faded black denim and bracelets.

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ADDED: lipstick + necklace

FINALE: Added silver sling back stilettos + statement blazer. Ta da!

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Question for you:
You know those women that you see and think ugh. she always looks so damn put together (maybe you even add an *eye roll* after that sentiment...)?

This is why: 
The PUT TOGETHER women give a shit. They put the time in on the coordination. They show up in a way that shows they care. They've got the details figured out. They go the distance with color, neutral, pattern and texture. They focus on the fine print.

If you're thinking, well, I give a shit and I still don't look that way... 

Response: You, too, can learn to pull your outfits together in an equally satisfying, punchy, phenomenal, crisp, modern, ready-for-action way.  Take the first step in my direction -- or any stylist's direction! -- and start to show up in a way that is worthy of your greatness.

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