Goals for the Soul
The last several years I’ve spent New Years Eve alone (on purpose), writing, goal-ing, letting go, envisioning, praying, meditating, collecting my heart’s desires and letting them spill onto the pages of my INfrequently used journal. I am always so thrilled for a new year to begin.
This year was different.
For the past ten or so days that I've been in Myrtle Beach, SC, I've struggled with the urgency of making changes, "what do I need to do to be more, do more, live bigger, louder, greater? How can I redefine and reinvent?" I've been exhausted by the urgency to put outlandish goals on paper... utterly exhausted by the task of trying to out-DO and out-goal my 2017 Self.
And then it hit me.
I don’t need a New Years Resolution to light a fire under me.
I live to slay.
I don’t need motivation.
I know how to hustle.
After mulling over "what should change" in 2018," I found myself keenly aware that I need... peace. Internal peace, relational peace, physical peace. I need forgiveness. Of Self and of others. I need to drink more water. I need to be patient with my career aspirations and patient with relationships. I need to go to sleep earlier. I need Grace, from me, to me. I need an edited and renewed sense of Self-love. My 2018 goals are for the soul.
Towards the end of 2017 I started to feel... trapped. Angry with labels. Frustrated with confinement. Not sure how to categorize myself and pissy over the fact that I would even need to. I found myself irritated AF with having to explain that I am not a blogger. I do not work retail. I do not pose for a living. I am not a liketoknowit IG salesperson. I am not a certified life coach. I am not a full time fitness instructor. I am not an Instagram model -- nor do I intend to be.
I am me.
Purveyor of Style.
Admirer of Strength.
I AM A GAME CHANGER.
I am a one woman business.
Offering what I can as best as I can.
I am a force to be reckoned with.
And that is enough.
It has to be enough.
Yes, toward the end of 2017 I found myself lost in labels and comparisons. It is this mindset, comparison mindset, that brings us absolute misery. It is the judgmental attitude towards ourselves and others that draws forth suffering. It is the mental hierarchy we create that tears us apart: me over her, her over her, she over me, he picked her and not me, she above me, she picked her and on and on and on and on. It is a dangerous place for the mind to live.
And that's why Self Care has to be the goal this year. The Soul Goal. I do not need to work harder or longer hours doing what I already do. I need not play games to get ahead. I have proven to myself that my body can do great things; I need not push its limits further than years past.
I do need to remind myself that I am who I am and not only is there "nothing missing" and "nothing wrong" with me... I am whole and complete just as I am.
If you're still tuned in, hear my hope for you:
Yes. Goals are wonderful, necessary aspirations. I hope you achieve all that you set out to achieve. But I also hope that you can focus on feeling states. I hope that you'll draw attention to what brings you great joy as well as deep-seated unrest. I hope that you'll take note of the times when your heart soars and when your heart breaks. I hope you'll breathe in self-acceptance when you feel threatened. I hope you'll reach for self-love when you feel discarded.
This is not just "talk yourself in a good mood" therapy. This is a new way of living.
These are mental, soulful challenges that will change the course of your life.
B E G E N T L E W I T H Y O U.