The other day I was babysitting 7 month old twins in the late afternoon and one of the little ones was having an awfully difficult time staying asleep. As I picked up this crying little baby my heart melted. Girl, I feel you. I whispered to this little soul. We sat on the couch a while and the crying continued. At one point, she began to bang her head against my collar bone. True. That. I thought. I'm with you, sister.
I've been that cranky, pitiful baby lately. Will someone just hold me? Can I just sit in a lap, please? Can I just have a little time to cry and no one freak out? Can I just bang my head on a wall for a minute? Can I just listen to "I'm so tired of feeling sad" songs for a little while? May I just have a fit and fall in it? Okay, okay, let's be honest, I've already done all of those things.
And in the midst of it all I have had such incredible support and love. God has shown up in so many ways. I might not weigh 18lbs and fit into too arms or on too many laps but God has truly given me shoulders to cry on, at least. He's been there through it all, blowing the big, billowing, dark clouds out of my skies and showing me all that I have to be thankful for.
Here are some of the ways God has been holding me in his arms...
My mom gave me the awesome book Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence
which has transformed my thinking each & every day.
"Welcome challenging times as opportunities to TRUST Me.
You have Me beside you and My Spirit within you, so no set of
circumstances is too much for you to handle.
When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of
measuring your strength against those challenges.
That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety.
Without Me, you wouldn't make it past the first hurdle!
The way to walk through demanding days is to grip My hand tightly
and stay in close communication with Me.
Let your thoughts and spoken words be richly flavored with trust
and thankfulness. Regardless of the day's problems,
I can keep you in perfect Peace as you stay close to Me.
-June 4th devotional-
My incredible friend Emily has jumped in and pulled me up by the boot straps and even invited me to join her small group.
My wonderful woman-of-faith mentor, Ali, has held me in her thoughts and prayers through this storm. She has blessed me with her time and her advice and her patience.
My childhood friend, Katie, stayed with me (as planned months ago) on Friday night.
Obviously God knew I'd need a friend in Christ and someone to get me to get OUT of my apartment!
And my incredible Agnes Scott friend, Margaret, has uplifted me and shared so much strength with me.
In my first round of posting this piece, I didn't mention my sister who has been so instrumental in keeping me laughing and moving forward.
From cooking for me to making me get out of bed and out to do something fun, my Baller has totally shown up for me as Big Sis of the Year. Thank you for that.
Most importantly my mother has listened to me weep & holler. She's watched me throw a fit and fall in it. She's picked me up and pointed me toward my Heavenly Father and
watched me lower to my knees (figuratively speaking) in prayer. I am so thankful.
In addition, my church has had a sermon series on "Storms."